So, what actually happens when I take on a coaching engagement? The techniques I use are derived from my experience in 12-step recovery, from my coach training, and from my experience as a manager in the technology industry. They draw heavily from the models underlying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Intentional Change Theory (ICT).
There are three main phases in my coaching system: Discovery, Goal-Setting, and Practice. For any issue you want to address, we’ll do them in that order (mostly), but though the course of our relationship we’ll return to the beginning over and over.
So, what actually happens when I take on a coaching engagement? The techniques I use are derived from my experience in 12-step recovery, from my coach training, and from my experience as a manager in the technology industry. They draw heavily from the models underlying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Intentional Change Theory (ICT).
There are three main phases in my coaching system: Discovery, Goal-Setting, and Practice. For any issue you want to address, we’ll do them in that order (mostly), but though the course of our relationship we’ll return to the beginning over and over.
Remember that this is entirely driven by you, the client. I have no opinions on:
Your life and goals and decisions are 100% up to you. My job is just to help you get there. And, in that job, my focus will always be on the positive and aspirational. I’m not so concerned with what you’ve done or not done (although that can be important background); my job is to help you move forward.
In discovery, we explore your story together.
Some of this will be done as we talk during a coaching session, but I also may offer exercises that could be done between sessions. These may sound a bit like homework, and I may jokingly call them homework, but they’re 100% optional and never graded, so they’re not actually like homework at all. 😊
In Goal-Setting, we will look at the difference between your current self and your ideal self, and set some goals to help you get closer. I’m a fan of what Corporate America calls SMART goals — goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
For example, let’s say that you want to speak up more at work. For that goal:
The reason that SMART goals are important is that it’s easier to see whether or not you’ve achieved them, and thus easier to celebrate when you have.
The goals that we set are often driven by what we discovered in looking at your values. If you value family and friends, but you’re not spending much time in those relationships because you don’t say “no” at work, that’s an opportunity to set a goal.
After we set some goals for you to target, next comes your opportunity to practice them. Most of this work will be done outside of the context of our coaching sessions; if you want to show up in your life in a certain way, that has to happen in your life.
This practice can include things like:
This is another area where I may suggest exercises that you can do between coaching sessions. As before, 100% optional and never graded, but the more you put into our work together, the more you’ll get out of it.
I’m a firm believer that any sort of personal growth exercise has no value unless the results are apparent in your day-to-day life. I don’t care what you’re able to do or say in our coaching sessions — I care what you’re able to do in your life outside our coaching sessions.
So, the outcome that we’re shooting for is that you are consistently and comfortably achieving the goals that we set out. Now, when I say “consistently” that doesn’t always mean “100% of the time.” I don’t have a magic wand that lets me “strike you perfect,” and you’re still going to make mistakes (just like all of us). And, when I say “comfortably”, I don’t mean that it’s going to be comfortable right off the bat, or all the time. Any time we’re learning to do something new, it will be uncomfortable for a while.
Having gone through the cycle as a consequence of one coaching session, we’ll return to the beginning in the next coaching session. So, although it can be thought of as a cycle, you can also think of it as a continuous progression towards your goals, like this:
My process is always entirely client-driven, so we can continue for as long or as short a time as makes sense for you. My job is to help you get where you want to go, and you decide when you’re there!